Just the basics.

Wedding Reality

Over the past few months, I have discovered some things about wedding planning that I believe are important for all girls, especially newly engaged couples to realize. Again, these are only my thoughts, and I am positive that many other females out there disagree with me.

1. Life will go on after your wedding.
There are a lot of females out there who take wedding planning WAY too seriously. I am by no means saying that this day is not important and that you shouldn’t put forth any type of effort, I am however saying…COOL YOUR JETS. Just because this certain flower didn’t match this certain ribbon, or you didn’t cut your cake at 6:05 exactly doesn’t mean that your marriage is over. A wedding is not about the little details, but rather the big picture.

2. The most important part of your wedding is…you and your future husband.
This event is a wedding remember? You and your significant other have decided to spend the rest of your lives pledging your love to one another. It doesn’t matter if you let cousin so and so have a guest, or that you didn’t have enough cookies. What matters is the love and future that your two will be building together. If you focus your concern on materialistic details rather than the relationship that is going to form the foundation of your lives together, you will end up as a part of the statistic that has 50% of couples getting divorced. A wedding is a big deal and it should be a fun celebration, but it should not divide your relationship or affect your future together.

3. Do not compare your wedding to anyone else’s.
And this goes for planning. All over Facebook I have friends posting about how they have invitations done and they’re 10 months out. Or that they found their dress 1 year in advance. For me and my schedule (along with Mike’s), I do not have the time to sit at home for hours on the weekend and plan my wedding. I work shift work during the week meaning I do not have hours in the evening to call people and arrange meetings. I discovered about two months ago when i purchased my dress that I am right on track with everything for the most part. We are a month late on getting save the dates out, but so what? They’re still going out. Ever since I stopped comparing my wedding and planning to other people, my stress has gone down a done.

4. Do not let anyone push you into having something done the way you don’t want do.
This is your wedding, not theirs. Also, people will bombard you with questions about the date, the colors, the day of the shower, the dresses, ugh the list goes on an on. Say whatever the hell you want back to them. I had to schedule my honeymoon 1 year in advance so that I was sure that I could have the time off. I am not concerned about anyone else’s vacations, time off, and holiday schedule. I will pick the day of my shower when I am good and ready. And when I do, you’ll be the first to know, but until then..stop asking.

I cannot suggest this enough. You cannot do everything. I personally do not have enough time to do everything. I have recently realized that this is what your bridal party and fiancé are there for. Not to become your slaves, but to help you. It takes a lot of the stress out of planning and it will strengthen your relationship knowing that you can count on your significant other to help you plan and coordinate things. Also, your fiancé should be wanting to help you. The old stereotype is that the guy wants nothing to do with your wedding but in the end it is your wedding together. Mike is very particular and wants to play a huge part in our wedding, which I absolutely love.

6. Enjoy the experience.
No, it’s not always going to be cupcakes and sprinkles while planning a wedding. You will have some touch and go times, but those are the moments when you realize how much more important your relationship is than some stupid decorative detail. Example: last night I suggested a neat way to do table numbers at our wedding. Mike didn’t like the idea and flat out told me no without even discussing it. I shut down and didn’t speak really at all the rest of the night. This morning we both woke up realizing that our relationship was more important than table numbers at our wedding. We both apologized and we both realized we were in the wrong. The key is to roll with the punches, be flexible, attempt to please and satisfy as many people without compromising your wishes, and enjoy the process of planning one of the biggest parties of your life.

In the end, while writing this, this post feels like it should be more of a reminder to me of what my real priorities need to be. Yes, these are some of the things I have learned, but also some of the things I need to remember.

I can’t wait for our wedding and the start of our future together. Every bridal shower and wedding I attend makes me more excited for ours and more nervous!

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